is happiness only something we can pursue... is love real?

Well havent been on here for a while but im writing about my life, i don't even expect any comments because of what ive put everyone through, i dont want my life to be this bad, i do love someone, but there has always been something in the way of it, happiness has not been in my vocabulary for over a year now, i cant take it anymore, i want my family back, i want my family to get me, well done venting, im done, i guess sometimes its good just to give up)_: which lately, has been an everday thing for me.